Burned Biscuits – A lesson we should learn

burned biscuits 

When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! All my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do rememberwatching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing…never made a face nor uttered a word about it!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I’ll never forget what he said, “Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then.”Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, “Your Mom put in a hard day at work today and she’s real tired. And besides–a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!” As I’ve grown older, I’ve thought about that many times. Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people.  I’m not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I’ve learned over the years is that learning to accept each other’s faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.And that’s my prayer for you today…that you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He’s the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn’t a deal-breaker!
“Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket–keep it in your own.”  So, please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine. Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. “Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil–it has no point”

Posted in Relationship Advice | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Part 8 – Marriage Counseling & Relationship Advice – Bishop T.D Jakes

This is marriage counseling & relationship advice we all can use.

Pastor Thomas Dexter “T.D.” Jakes  is the bishop/chief pastor of The Potter’s House, a non-denominational American mega-church, with 30,000 members.  His emphasis is on keeping the family together.  He offers unique insights on relationships and that is why he is included on this site.

 

Posted in Relationship Advice, Save My Marriage | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Marriage Counseling Great Help to Married Couples

The video above is one in a series of videos to help you get a better relationship
as well as fix your relationship when things go wrong. I listed other resources
below if you need more assistance than these videos provide.  Relationship Solutions Online is not responsible for your outcome.  You are!  We provide these resources as a courtesy to you.

Other Resources:

Samaritan Counseling Center helps people through difficulties like: grief, depression, anxiety, loneliness, marital conflicts, abuse, and family relationships. Even if they might not be able to assist you, they can refer you to someone who can.

The 4 Questions to check before you trust that marriage counseling will help you

 

The Marriage Bed@themarriagebed 

You don’t have to be perfect to be a great spouse. Don’t give up, give your best and keep growing. #MarriageTip

Happiness is a Choice http://bit.ly/sLKqRH  ◄ A guest post by Fawn from the Happy Wives Club. #TGWarchive

Posted in Relationship Advice, Relationship Help, Relationship Solution, Save My Marriage, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Two Hearts Become One

It is fitting I should write this story for Valentines Day. This is a story of two broken hearts; healed and mended, then melted together as one–in an instant. This is a story of True Love.

Anyone who comes from a broken family understands the pain of divorce. I was twenty-seven years old when my parents divorced, and while some people think that a person shouldn’t be “affected” by such things once they are adults, I can assure you–I WAS! I was shocked when my parents divorced. I had no forewarning in the natural. But, on the day that my dad told my mom that he was moving out, I felt a great anxiety in my spirit–so great that I told my husband, “Something is terribly wrong in California. I want to phone home.” Considering the fact that I was three thousand miles away, on a remote island in Northern Canada, when I felt this anxiety, you can appreciate that I was deeply affected.

Pain and confusion became constant companions as I tried to “understand” what had happened–what right did he have to leave my mother? Whose standard was he using to exercise his right to leave her? What had she done that was so terrible that he could not live with her? I had questions and I asked them of nearly everyone around me. I asked God the same questions, and in so doing, I realized that my own life was in quite a mess. As I came into a better alignment with God, I searched the Bible for “the answer” to all my questions about my dad. Since he had been a Baptist minister at one time, I felt certain that he would know and obey what the Bible said about such an important issue.

About two years after the divorce, the whole family gathered in California–for one of those BIG attempts to bring reconciliation–I felt certain that dad would listen to God’s Word. I reached for my Bible and said, “Dad, look at what God has to say about what you are doing.” Before I could find the carefully selected passage of scripture that would straighten this mess out, he stood up and loudly cursed me, the Bible and the whole family. Then he walked out. Needless to say we were all in shock. The shock of that cursing lasted a long time–eighteen years for myself, and twenty years for my brother and sister.

Eighteen years is a long time. It generally takes eighteen years to graduate from high school. A whole “lifetime” of events takes place in eighteen years. During these years, contact with my dad was minimal. A card from him on my birthday, Christmas cards, the odd phone call which always stirred up the pain. Someone would hear about something that he was doing and he would again become the topic of our conversation for weeks. My mother never stopped talking about him. She never let him go.

My mom maintained her relationship with God throughout this long painful separation. She read her Bible, went to church, cared about us kids and loved her grand kids. She worked as a secretary and saved her money so she wouldn’t be a burden on anyone when she retired. But, always, she was obsessed with talking about my dad.

I would say most of our conversations about him were judgmental. After all, we read our Bibles; we knew that what he had done was wrong. She had done nothing that the Bible sanctioned as reason for divorce. By the time of his third marriage, we knew he wasn’t coming back to her. Still, his actions and their effect on our lives were frequent topics of our conversations.

After many years, I gave up hope for my dad to ever be reconciled to his family. I doubted he was even a Christian. I felt he was a totally lost, immoral, unstable, unsavory person. That was a very dark time for me. Gradually, I got used to the darkness in my own soul–it seemed normal.

Mother did retire and she moved from California to Canada to be near my family. She had missed out on much of the growing up of my five children, and she wanted to get to know them. She bought a condominium two blocks from my house and the kids enjoyed having “Gran” live so close. One year after moving here, she was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease.

Lou Gehrig’s disease was a death sentence. There was no cure. There was no treatment. I spent four months pryaing and asking God to heal my mother. Finally, the answer came: “Help her die.” I accepted her diagnosis and did all I could to help her.

I wish I could tell you that I was a “good little Christian” who praised and thanked God every day for His righteous judgements–but, the truth is that I questioned God. I really felt that it was unfair of Him to let my dad go free, when he was the one who had done this great wrong to his family, and to allow my mother to die this cruel death. Finally, I asked God, “How do You see this situation?” The answer He spoke to my heart would one day transform all our lives.

About a year after my mother died, I felt something stirring inside of me–a desire to see my dad. In the long eighteen years of separation, I had only invited him once to visit my home and during that visit I had tried again–and unsuccessfully, again–to confront him with the Bible. I had no reason to expect that another visit would end differently, but I honored that desire anyway and invited him for a long weekend.

My dad came armed with his own arsenal of justifications. He knew what to expect from me. I hadn’t planned anything specific to confront him on–I didn’t need to, I had a whole list of offenses that I could whip out at any given moment. So, the weekend progressed–awkwardly, but quietly.

I had no idea that Spirit was about to move in on us in a powerful way. I simply invited two gentlemen friends over for lunch. They lead a prayer group I attended and I suppose I hoped they would “say something” important to my dad. If not, it was a way to let others meet my dad and see the man who had so wounded me. We were sitting around my dining room table, when one gentleman began telling the story of a young soldier in Napoleon’s army who had gone A.W.O.L., been caught and was now about to face the firing squad. This young man’s mother came to Napoleon and pleaded for mercy for her son. Napoleon replied, “He doesn’t deserve mercy.” To which the mother implored, “But, Sir, if he deserved it, it wouldn’t be mercy!” At that, Napoleon allowed the boy to live. After telling this story, the gentleman said, “I have no idea why I told that story. It just came into my head.”

As he had been speaking, I felt the strangest sensation of heat come over my head and into my chest. Without wavering, I said, “I know why you told that story.” I turned toward my dad and gently said, “Dad, when mom was dying, I felt that God was being very unfair. So I asked Him what He had to say about the situation. Would you like to hear what God had to say about you and mom?” The room was very quiet. I could tell that my dad was afraid to know. But, after a few moments he indicated that he would.

I felt the heat increasing as I reached deep into my soul for those words, “He said, ‘I could not heal your mother, because she would not forgive. But I see the wounds upon your father’s heart, and I have pity on him.” In the moment I spoke those words, the power of Spirit hit both of us “like lightening.” We stood up, pushed our chairs back from the table and fell into each others arms, sobbing. After quite a while of crying and kissing, we sat down again–even the two gentlemen present were crying–and I realized that I could not remember even one of those offenses on my “list.” The whole list was erased from my memory–and five years later, it is still gone! (10 years later too.)

From that day on, my dad and I have had a relationship that is far beyond mere “reconciliation” or “recovery.” We never had a relationship like this before–ever! This is a totally new relationship! We talk on the phone every weekend, we plan visits around special holidays, we go to conferences together. Where before my dad had been closed to the “things of the Spirit,” due to the wounding caused by my own judgementalism and legalism, now he is hungry for more of the Spirit. Right away my dad began having powerful dreams which he KNEW were from God. He shares these dreams with me and we discuss their possible meanings.

Two years after this momentous day, my dad was reconciled to my brother and sister. My family traveled to California where we had a true “family reunion.” It had been twenty years since the divorce.

Whenever my dad and I are together, we look for an opportunity to share our story. It is a story which brings hope to hopelessly broken relationships. It is a True Love story.

Posted in Relationship Solution | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Long Distance Relationship Advice (Feat. Ellosteph)

Rock Jelly & Day Merchandise: angelicaanddaylynn.spreadshirt.com —————————————————————— Let’s be Pen Pals! An…
Relationship Solutions Online

Posted in Relationship Advice | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments